Hurd IV: Panera Lemonade 🥤:

(Sam) Hurd IV: Panera Lemonade: The Sam Hurd Double Colon Quarter Quell Not-So-Surprise Auction Draft, Ultra Flex IDP, and Bad Kickers League

League Constitution

Table of Contents

1. Fees & Prizes

2. Rosters & Ultra Flex

3. Scoring: Offense, Defense, Jameis-15 & Chaos

4. Draft

5. Scheduling

6. Playoffs

7. Toilet Bowl 💩

8. Weekly Prizes

9. Trades, Waivers, Free Agency

10. Collusion & Integrity

11. More Ways to Play

12. Miscellaneous

Well, well, well, look who’s back. It’s time for the 4th edition of the original Sam Hurd Shipping Co. fantasy football league. After much turnover the first three years, it seems we’ve settled on a solid (mid) group of guys (& Bea) to keep this league rolling.

I know most of you don’t enjoy reading, but if Jimmy and JG can send 387 texts back and forth on a Saturday commiserating about how bad they were at sports as teenagers, I’m sure they can also take the time to peruse this constitution with updated rules and scoring for the 2026-27 fantasy season.

Who knows, maybe Blake and JG’s team does well this year?

Maybe Jimmy doesn’t choke in the playoffs?

Maybe Joe actually brings something home?

*KG VOICE* ANYTHING IS POSSSIBLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

We’ve got a lot to discuss—let’s get to it.

But first, here’s a list of past champions to get your competitive juices flowing:

2023: 🏆David (191.13) defeats 🥈Joe (161.49)

2024: 🏆Gonzalo (136.73) defeats 🥈Daniel (128.55)

2025: 🏆David (181.22) defeats 🥈Pedro aka Chaka (112.65)

List of Champions:

David 2x

Gonzalo 1x

Losers who haven’t won:

Daniel

Jimmy

Pedro aka Chaka

Hema & Bea

Blake & JG

Brian

Asher

Damian

Joe

Ben & Mike

Draft

The draft for this league occurs on the same date every year: the night before the first regular season game. *

As this year’s kickoff game is coming to us all the way from Australia, the Patriots and Seahawks head into their Super Bowl rematch with the game airing on Wednesday, September 9th, at 8:20 pm. Which means…

This year’s draft will be on Tuesday, September 8^th, 2026, at 7:00 pm.

*The draft will only be moved in case of a major issue (ex. hurricane). If there are other extreme, mitigating circumstances that make you personally unable to attend the draft—please reach out with at least two weeks of anticipation so we can make any necessary adjustments.

This being the 4^th year of the Sam Hurd Shipping Co. league means we’ve hit Draft Roulette, aka Sam’s Quarter Quell, aka it’s an AUCTION DRAFT 🎰

This year’s draft will be an auction draft consisting of 19 rounds, with each team receiving a $250 budget to draft its complete active roster of 19 players (12 starters and 7 bench players). Managers may bid any amount on any available player, provided they always have enough remaining budget to fill the rest of their roster. Each player nomination will have a 60-second nomination timer, and once bidding begins, each bid will reset a 30-second bid timer, giving all managers an opportunity to place additional bids before the player is awarded to the highest bidder.

Because auction drafts typically last longer than traditional snake drafts due to multiple managers bidding on the same player, this year’s draft will begin one (1) hour earlier than our usual draft time. Managers are expected to be present and ready at the scheduled start time to ensure the draft runs as smoothly as possible.

To help keep the draft moving, the Commissioner reserves the right to reduce the nomination and/or bid timer during the later rounds of the draft if the pace becomes excessively slow. Any timer adjustments will be announced to the league before taking effect and will apply equally to all remaining nominations.

Fees & Prizes

Annual league fees are due:

Tuesday, August 25^th

The league fee is $150.00 per team.

League fees will not be increased without the approval of at least 80% of the league. We will discuss a potential fee increase this next offseason (Summer ’27).

Payouts are distributed promptly by the commissioner via the preferred method of the winner. While the payout structure may change year to year, the Commissioner always confirms the current season’s payout structure before the draft. A portion of the league fees is used for yearly prizes and trophies.

As last year’s Toilet Bowl winner, Brian is paying double the league entry fee, which means there’s $150 more going towards prizes this year. This year, Gonzalo and David will be receiving trophies paid for with some of last year’s dues that were marked for trophies. Moving forward, additional money that doesn’t go to championship trophies will be added back to the pot for regular season accomplishments.

Payout structure:

The 2026 prize pool is $1,950: $1,800 in regular league dues plus the confirmed $150 double-buy-in payment from the 2025 Toilet Bowl Champion. Up to $50 will be allocated to the League Champion’s trophy. Any unused portion of the trophy budget will be added to the League Champion’s cash payout.

If you’re in the championship and you reach an agreement with the other team to either split the pot or winner-take-all, that’s cool. Do whatever you want that you mutually agree to. Please alert the commissioner before the games are played so they are aware, can serve as a witness to avoid any conflict, and can distribute proper payout.

Please send your league dues to the commissioner via one of the methods below. Once all teams have paid their dues, we will set the draft order (jk there is no draft order, it’s an Auction 🤑).

Venmo: @davidnunezariza

Zelle: samhurdshipping@2uesday2uesday.com

PayPal: billing@2uesday2uesday.com

Rosters, Limits & Ultra-Flex Lineups

Active rosters consist of 19 players: 12 starters and 7 bench players, plus 2 IR spots (21 total roster spots).

The starting lineup includes one (1) QB, two (2) RBs, two (2) WRs, one (1) TE, one (1) FLEX (RB/WR/TE), one (1) Superflex (QB/RB/WR/TE), one (1) K, one (1) DST, one (1) IDP, and one (1) Ultra Flex (RB/WR/TE/K/DST/IDP). Because Sleeper does not currently support an Ultra Flex roster position, managers must declare their Ultra Flex player before that player’s game begins, and they must be on their bench. The commissioner will manually add the Ultra Flex player’s fantasy points to that team’s weekly total after all games have concluded.

Ultra Flex declarations must be submitted in writing and timestamped before that player’s scheduled kickoff. A manager may revise the declaration only before that kickoff. The declared player must be on the Sleeper bench and may not also occupy a Sleeper starting slot. Once locked, an inactive player or a zero or negative score still counts, and official Sleeper/NFL stat corrections will be applied during the normal correction window.

Because this is a Superflex league where you can start up to two (2) quarterbacks, the only position with a roster limit is QB. Teams may roster a maximum of three (3) quarterbacks. Teams may also roster a maximum of two (2) kickers. There is no limit to the number of D/STs or IDPs a team may carry.

Each team has two (2) IR spots. Only players with an official “Out” designation are eligible to be placed on IR. Players listed as “Doubtful,” “Questionable,” “Suspended,” or any other designation are not eligible for an IR spot. It is each manager’s responsibility to monitor their IR. Once a player is no longer designated as “Out,” they must be returned to the active roster (or another roster move must be made) before any additional transactions can be completed.

FULL ROSTER:

Scoring: Offense, D/ST, IDP, Jameis-15 & Bad-Kicker Chaos

The league is a decimal scoring league based on a 0.5 point-per-reception (half-PPR) and 0.5 point-per-first-down (half-PPFD). The half-point-per-first-down counts only for rushing and receiving first downs—not for passing first downs. This new rule was introduced this year (2025) to shake things up a bit.

We all know about players who are PPR cheat codes—and running backs who don’t catch passes get undervalued.

What if we could find a way to reward actual on-field production?

Plays that provide not only positive yardage but also a fresh set of downs for the offense. By giving them more opportunities to gain yardage and subsequently score more fantasy points, these moments will be rewarded with a half-point-per-first-down rushing or receiving.

This means your QB can get the 0.5 for a rushing first down, but not a passing one.

The league is also proud to employ a 15-point bonus for any quarterback who makes the play-ending tackle after an interception (also known as the Jameis-15 in honor of the great Jameis Winston and his 30 TD 30 INT season, where he also threw for 5,109 yards).

To make sure your team receives its 15-point bonus, please text the commissioner by Tuesday morning every week if one of your starting QBs recorded a tackle.

The Jameis-15 applies only when a starting quarterback makes the play-ending tackle on an interception he personally threw. The manager must send the commissioner a screenshot or play link by Tuesday morning. Later official Sleeper/NFL stat corrections will be honored.

This bonus is meant to reward the quarterback for being brave but dumb. Because the last thing the quarterback should be doing is putting the most important player on the field at risk for a single tackle.

At that same time—it’s awesome that the quarterback was trying to atone for his sins and went all out to make the tackle.

This rule inserts a bit of chaos into an already chaotic game to make it even more fun.

Managers, beware, this scoring is not for the weak…

Below are the full scoring details:

Offensive players that also play on special teams have an opportunity to gain points from special teams’ action.

EX:

• If your WR3 is a special teamer who forces a fumble, they will get points for that forced fumble—the D/ST they play for will also receive points.

• If one of your skill position players returns punts or kicks, they will be awarded points for those return yards.

We will always have a spot for defense/special teams because we believe in establishing the run.

IDP: Individual Defensive Players. This league will now have one (1) starting position for an Individual Defensive Player, such as DL (Defensive Lineman), LB (Linebacker), or DB (Defensive Back).

IDP scoring is designed to make defensive players meaningful weekly contributors while maintaining balance with the league’s offensive positions. Because Sleeper stacks related defensive statistics, the scoring has been calibrated so that a typical solo sack is worth approximately four total points after the sack, solo tackle, tackle-for-loss, and quarterback-hit credits are combined. Takeaways, return yards, and defensive touchdowns are rewarded as impact plays, with interception and fumble-return yards scored at 0.025 points per yard. Return-yard scoring and bonuses have been limited to appropriately distinguish longer returns without allowing a single play to become disproportionately valuable. IDP players remain eligible for the Ultra Flex position under the league’s weekly declaration rules.

On Sleeper, these tackle outcomes are implemented by setting Tackle to 1, Solo Tackle to 0, and Assisted Tackle to -0.5. This produces 1 point for a solo tackle and 0.5 points for an assisted tackle.

The IDP scoring is as follows:

Now it’s time for the real shake up…BAD KICKERS.

Bad Kicker scoring is intentionally inverted: made field goals score 0.02 points per yard, while shorter missed field goals earn more. A made PAT scores one point, while a missed PAT scores nine points as the unique premium Bad Kicker outcome. Leave Sleeper’s general FG Made and general FG Missed fields blank so the distance settings do not stack. Sleeper counts blocked field goals as misses.

Playoffs

The playoffs consist of six (6) teams.

Three rounds during Weeks 15, 16, and 17. Week 18 will not serve any purpose.

The #1 and #2 seeds will earn a first-round BYE.

The 6^th seed will be awarded to the highest-scoring remaining team: the team with the most points scored in the season between those ranked 6-12.

For a team in 7^th-12^th place to “jump” the team sitting at 6^th, the team must have outscored the 6^th seed by at least 100 points that season.

Quarterfinals (Week 15)

Semifinals (Week 16)

Championship (Week 17)

3^rd Place Game (Week 17)

If two teams tie their playoff matchup, the following will decide the winner:

• Quarterfinals: Most points scored in the entire regular season

• Semifinals: Higher scoring team (between the two) in the Quarterfinals round

• Championship & 3^rd Place: Most combined score in the Quarterfinals & Semifinals

Toilet Bowl 💩

Everyone knows that if you aren't first, you're last. But you don’t want to be last, especially not in this league. Because we will have punishments. The other six (6) teams in the league that fail to reach the playoffs will compete not to arrive in last place in the Toilet Bowl. The Anti-Shiva, if you will.

In The Toilet Bowl, all you need to do is win one (1) matchup to avoid being crowned the biggest loser. Beware, if you lose three (3) straight matchups…

In Week 15, non-playoff teams will be re-seeded from lowest to highest for the loser’s bracket.

Quarterfinals (Week 15)

Semifinals (Week 16)

Championship (Week 17)

If two teams tie their Toilet Bowl matchup, the following will decide the winner:

• Quarterfinals: Most points scored in the entire regular season

• Semifinals: Higher scoring team (between the two) in the Quarterfinals round

• Championship & 3^rd Place: Most combined score in the Quarterfinals & Semifinals

Consequences

There’s no such thing as cancel culture—there are only consequences for your words and actions. In this league, the consequences for giving up on your team, for not setting your lineup, or for sucking so bad you lose all the way to the end and are crowned the Toilet Bowl Champion are not ones you want to endure.

Toilet Bowl Champion 🚽

The Toilet Bowl Champion, the player who loses every matchup in the Toilet Bowl en route to being called the worst player in the league, will have their pick between two punishments:

1. Must pay double the buy-in money the next year to get in the league.

2. Gives up a 5^th round pick for the following year’s draft and only pays $25 extra for next year’s buy-in.

   1. If they choose to give up the following year’s 5^th-round pick, the pick will be randomly assigned to another manager before the following year’s draft. We’ll figure out a fun way to get this done.

Weekly Prizes

During the 2026 regular season, each of Weeks 1–14 awards one $20 prize through the “Biggest Mistakes” challenge series. The schedule below is final.

What counts: Use the submitted Sleeper lineup and official Sleeper/NFL statistics. The declared Ultra Flex counts as a starter. When a rule names a regular lineup slot—such as QB, RB, WR, TE, FLEX, Superflex, K, D/ST, or IDP—use only the player in that specific slot. Do not substitute a player from another slot. A bench challenge excludes IR players and the declared Ultra Flex.

How “closest” works: Subtract the target from the team’s result and ignore the plus or minus sign. The smallest difference is closest. For example, 24.0 and 25.0 are both 0.5 away from a target of 24.5.

Tie rule: Apply the challenge’s listed tiebreaker. If two or more teams are still tied, the commissioner conducts a random draw among only those teams. One team receives the entire $20 prize; the prize is never split.

Final 2026 Weekly Challenge Schedule

Week 1: Graham Poll’s Three-Yellow-Card Red Card

The mistake: In a decisive 2006 World Cup group match, referee Graham Poll booked Croatia’s Josip Šimunić in the 62nd and 90th minutes but failed to send him off after the second yellow card. Poll finally showed a red card after booking Šimunić for a third time in the 93rd minute. Australia advanced after the chaotic 2–2 draw.

How to calculate: Add the fantasy scores from exactly three regular starting slots: QB, TE, and K. Do not use the Superflex, FLEX, or Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose QB + TE + K total is closest to 24.50.

Example: A QB with 18.4 points, TE with 4.6, and K with 2.0 produce 25.0 points, which is 0.50 away from the target.

Tiebreaker: Final fantasy-team score closest to 22.06.

Week 2: Chris Webber’s Phantom Timeout

The mistake: Michigan trailed North Carolina by two in the final seconds of the 1993 NCAA championship game when Chris Webber became trapped near the sideline and called a timeout Michigan did not have. The technical foul helped North Carolina seal a 77–71 win with 11 seconds left.

How to calculate: Add the fantasy scores of every player left in the seven Sleeper bench slots. Do not count IR players or the player declared as Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose bench total is closest to 71.0.

Tiebreaker: Final fantasy-team score closest to 77.0.

Week 3: DeSean Jackson’s Goal-Line Drop

The mistake: On Monday Night Football in 2008, DeSean Jackson caught a deep pass and appeared to score a 61-yard touchdown against Dallas. He celebrated and dropped the football before crossing the goal line. Replay changed the play to a 60-yard reception, and Philadelphia scored on the next snap.

How to calculate: Use the two players in the regular RB starting slots. Add their rushing yards and receiving yards. Do not count return yards, passing yards, or an RB used in FLEX, Superflex, or Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose two starting RBs combine for a scrimmage-yard total closest to 60.

Example: If the two RBs record 37 and 28 scrimmage yards, their total is 65, which is 5 yards away from the target.

Tiebreaker: Final fantasy-team score closest to 61.0.

Week 4: Ferrari Forgets the Tire

The mistake: During the 1999 European Grand Prix, Ferrari brought championship contender Eddie Irvine into the pits but had only three tires ready. The crew searched for the missing right-rear tire while Irvine sat in the car. The stop lasted 28.754 seconds, and Irvine finished seventh.

How to calculate: Add exactly four fantasy scores: the regular K, D/ST, and IDP starters plus the declared Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose K + D/ST + IDP + Ultra Flex total is closest to 28.75.

Tiebreaker: Matchup margin closest to 7.0 points. Use the absolute difference between the team’s final score and its opponent’s final score, whether the team won or lost.

Week 5: J.R. Smith Forgot the Score

The mistake: Game 1 of the 2018 NBA Finals was tied 107–107 when J.R. Smith secured an offensive rebound with 4.7 seconds left. Rather than immediately shoot, he dribbled away from the basket as time expired, apparently believing Cleveland was ahead. The Cavaliers lost in overtime.

How to calculate: Use each team’s final fantasy score for the week.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose final score is closest to 107.0.

Tiebreaker: Matchup margin closest to 4.7 points, using the absolute difference between the two teams’ final scores.

Week 6: Kepa Refuses to Leave

The mistake: Late in extra time of the 2019 League Cup final, Chelsea manager Maurizio Sarri tried to replace goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga with penalty specialist Willy Caballero. Kepa refused to come off and remained in goal. Manchester City then won the shootout 4–3.

How to calculate: Look at each eligible bench player separately. For each team, identify the one bench player whose fantasy score is closest to 11.8. Do not count IR players or the declared Ultra Flex.

Winner: Compare those 12 identified bench players. The $20 prize goes to the team whose identified player is closest to 11.8.

Example: If a team’s closest bench scores are 11.3 and 13.0, use 11.3 because it is only 0.5 away from 11.8.

Tiebreaker: Final fantasy-team score closest to 43.0.

Week 7: Jean van de Velde’s 18th-Hole Collapse

The mistake: Jean van de Velde reached the final hole of the 1999 Open Championship with a three-shot lead and needed only a double bogey to win. A sequence of reckless shots found the rough, a grandstand, and the water. He made a triple-bogey 7, entered a playoff, and lost.

How to calculate: Add the fantasy scores from exactly two regular starting slots: FLEX and Superflex. Do not include the Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose FLEX + Superflex total is closest to 18.7.

Tiebreaker: Declared Ultra Flex score closest to 3.0.

Week 8: Andrés Escobar’s Own Goal

The mistake: During the 1994 World Cup, Colombian defender Andrés Escobar tried to cut out a United States cross but deflected it into his own net in the 35th minute. The United States won 2–1, contributing to Colombia’s group-stage elimination. Escobar’s later murder is treated as a tragedy and is never the punchline.

How to calculate: Use each team’s final fantasy score for the week.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose final score is closest to 93.19.

Tiebreaker: Regular starting D/ST score closest to 3.5.

Week 9: Lindsey Jacobellis Celebrates Too Early

The mistake: Lindsey Jacobellis held a huge lead near the finish of the 2006 Olympic snowboard-cross final and appeared certain to win gold. She attempted an unnecessary celebratory grab, fell, and was passed by Tanja Frieden before recovering to win silver.

How to calculate: Use the fantasy score of each team’s declared Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose Ultra Flex score is closest to 20.06.

Tiebreaker: Matchup margin closest to 2.0 points, using the absolute difference between the two teams’ final scores.

Week 10: J.R. Hildebrand’s Final-Turn Crash

The mistake: Rookie J.R. Hildebrand led the 2011 Indianapolis 500 entering the final corner of the final lap. While passing a slower car on the outside, he hit the wall. His damaged car crossed second as Dan Wheldon passed him to win by 2.1086 seconds.

How to calculate: Only teams that lose their fantasy matchup are eligible. For each losing team, subtract its score from its opponent’s score to find the loss margin.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the losing team whose loss margin is closest to 2.11.

Example: A team that loses by 3.00 points is 0.89 away from the 2.11 target.

Tiebreaker: The losing team’s final fantasy score closest to 100.0.

Week 11: Usain Bolt’s False Start

The mistake: Usain Bolt entered the 2011 World Championship 100-meter final as the reigning Olympic champion and world-record holder. He left the blocks before the gun and was immediately disqualified. Yohan Blake won in 9.92 seconds; Bolt’s world record remained 9.58.

How to calculate: Look at the fantasy score of every starter on each team, including the declared Ultra Flex. Identify the single starter whose score is closest to 9.58.

Winner: Compare every starter across all 12 teams. The $20 prize goes to the team with the starter whose score is closest to 9.58.

Tiebreaker: That team’s final fantasy score closest to 99.2.

Week 12: The Butt Fumble

The mistake: On Thanksgiving night in 2012, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez ran into the backside of offensive lineman Brandon Moore, fumbled, and watched New England return the ball for a touchdown. It occurred during a stretch in which the Patriots scored three touchdowns in 52 seconds on the way to a 49–19 win.

How to calculate: Add exactly two fantasy scores: the regular starting QB and the regular starting D/ST. Do not use the Superflex quarterback or Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose QB + D/ST total is closest to 19.0.

Tiebreaker: Final fantasy-team score closest to 49.19.

Week 13: José Canseco’s Head-Assisted Home Run

The mistake: In 1993, Cleveland’s Carlos Martínez hit a deep fly ball toward Rangers outfielder José Canseco. Canseco lost track of it at the warning track, and the ball bounced off his head and over the fence for a home run. Cleveland eventually won 7–6.

How to calculate: Add the fantasy scores of the two players in the regular WR starting slots. Do not include a WR used in FLEX, Superflex, or Ultra Flex.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose two starting WRs combine for a score closest to 13.0.

Tiebreaker: Regular starting D/ST score closest to 6.0.

Week 14: South Africa Misreads the Target

The mistake: Rain was about to end South Africa’s must-win 2003 Cricket World Cup match against Sri Lanka. The team believed 229 runs after 45 overs would be enough and did not pursue another run from the final ball. Under the rain-adjusted rules, 229 only tied the match; South Africa needed 230 and was eliminated.

How to calculate: Use each team’s final fantasy score for the week.

Winner: The $20 prize goes to the team whose final score is closest to 122.9.

Tiebreaker: Declared Ultra Flex score closest to 1.0.

Trades, Waivers, Free Agency

Trades

All trades are subject to approval by the Commissioner. Trades heavily favoring one team are not vetoed. The Commissioner will only veto a trade if there is suspected collusion. Don’t get this fucked up—managers who attempt to collude will be immediately exiled from the league without any opportunity to ever come back. Sickos are still gentlemen & ladies (sort of).

• Pick trading is allowed for the following year. If you wish to trade a future draft pick, you will need to prepay all league dues for the following year. This avoids a Manager trading away picks for a single season to win and leaving the league without penalty. These payments are non-refundable.

• When the league uses a snake draft, Managers may trade future draft picks under this same prepayment rule. Future draft picks may not be traded for the purpose of intentionally weakening a team’s current-season roster or tanking the current season. This is not a dynasty league, and every Manager must continue competing in good faith for the Playoffs or the Toilet Bowl.

• The trade deadline is at 8:00 pm on the Saturday before Week 12 begins.

• Managers cannot agree on a “temporary” trade. Trades are final, and those players cannot be exchanged to their original teams after an agreed upon period. This is considered collusion.

Waivers

• All players dropped from a team’s roster are immediately placed on waivers for one day to give all Managers a chance to claim those players (e.g., a player dropped on Tuesday becomes a free agent on Thursday).

• All un-rostered players are placed on waivers at the scheduled start time of their game.

• Players on bye week are placed on waivers Monday night at 8:30 pm EST.

• Waivers are determined using the Free Agent Acquisition Budget (FAAB). The in-season FAAB budget is $1000. Any remaining FAAB budget will reset after the season and will not carry-over into the offseason or the following season.

  • The minimum amount of FAAB budget to bid on a player is $1

  • Ties are settled by who has a higher waiver priority (based on a continuous rolling list waiver system).

  • You can submit bids on multiple players

  • You are allowed to trade FAAB in negotiations with other Managers

  • Waiver claims are processed in waiver priority order, and each successful claim moves a Manager to the bottom of the waiver priority list. The initial waiver priority list is the reverse order of the draft.

Playoff Waivers

Teams are eligible to add and drop players from the waiver wire if they are still competing in the Playoffs or the Toilet Bowl. Once they are eliminated from either of those tournaments, their season is done and their team is locked.

Free Agency

• All undrafted players will automatically be placed in the free agency pool of players. If a player clears waivers (goes unclaimed), he will immediately become a free agent.

• There is no limit to the amount of moves a Manager can make in free agency. You are allowed to pick up players to counter what your opponent needs. You cannot start adding and dropping players every minute to automatically give them a waiver status.

• If you add a player specifically to prevent your opponent from using that player, you must keep that player on your bench until that player’s scheduled game begins for the current scoring week.

Collusion & Integrity

This is a competitive Fantasy Football League that does not allow any sort of illegal competitive advantages. Any attempt to break any rule for an anti-competitive advantage will result in the removal of that Manager from the league. If your co-Manager breaks a rule, both of you will be removed. If at any point you’re indecisive whether something is allowed or not, feel free to reach out to the Commissioner to get some clarity. There are no second chances when it comes to the integrity of our league.

Collusion

People love saying this word, but they don’t necessarily love understanding what it means. These are a few examples of what is considered collusion:

• A team out of the playoffs or with a bad record accepts a one-sided trade to a playoff contender.

• A Manager asks another Manager to pick up players from free agency to help him block his opponent’s moves.

• Drop a productive player because your “friend” has #1 waiver priority.

Collusion isn’t the only thing that ruins the integrity of leagues. Here are some more things you cannot do:

• Add/drop players consecutively to disallow your opponents from having any shot at a free agent.

• Drop your players because you are out of the running and “want to make it fun.”

• Not setting your lineup properly to allow your opponent to win

Integrity

The league works best when everyone buys in and is participating throughout the entire season. Maintaining a sense of community and respect among Managers is vital to the league’s long-term survival and Managers’ long-term enjoyment. Managers are required to adhere to the following responsibilities on behalf of their teams. A Manager who fails to adhere to one or more of these responsibilities is subject to the Commissioner’s sanctions. Managers are responsible for:

• Knowing and following the rules

• Responding to emails or private messages from the Commissioner or other Managers in a timely manner

• Taking part in league votes and debates

• Regularly accessing the league

• Responding to trade offers in a timely manner

• Submitting weekly lineups

• Notifying the Commissioner if they are away for an excessive period so arrangements can be made to set lineups and/or manage the team during that Manager’s absence.

Managers are expected to set the best possible lineup on a weekly basis. A Manager cannot purposely set a non-optimal lineup to increase chances of losing. The Commissioner has the right to intervene in any situation where he suspects such actions and has the right to change the team’s lineup to avoid such an action interfering with the league results.

To uphold the integrity of our competition, we will enforce the following sanctions for violations of this rule:

1^st Offense: Loss of the following year’s 3^rd-round pick

2^nd Offense: Loss of the following year’s 2^nd-round pick

3^rd Offense: Loss of the following year’s 1^st-round pick

Please note that offenses accumulate and do not reset from year to year. Once marked, a Manager remains accountable indefinitely. If a team is unable to forfeit the required pick, the penalty will carry over to the following season. Additionally, the team will lose the next highest pick in the current year.

Example: If “Team A’ commits a 1^st offense but does not possess a 2026 3^rd-round pick, they will forget a 2025 4^th-round pick and the 2026 3^rd-round pick.

In all cases, the Commissioner will revert any offending lineup to its optimal state. It’s important to note that violations should be clear, such as leaving injured players in the starting lineup or benching top performers at each position.

More Ways to Play

Sam’s Bricks: Chopped League

Sam’s Bricks is a separate companion contest on Sleeper (League ID 1384988942746550272). It does not change the rules, scoring, standings, or prize pool of the primary Sam Hurd Shipping Co. league.

In this redraft format, every team competes against the full league each week. The lowest-scoring team is chopped, and that team’s entire roster is released to waivers for the surviving Managers to bid on with a $1,000 FAAB budget. Trades are disabled.

The 2026 field will be 20 paid teams. One team will be chopped after every week except Weeks 5 and 6, when the two lowest-scoring teams will be chopped. This creates 19 total eliminations through Week 17 and leaves exactly one champion.

The entry fee is $25 per team, creating a $500 prize pool from 20 paid entries. The League Champion receives the entire $500 prize pool (winner takes all).

The 16-round snake draft is scheduled for Monday, August 31, 2026 at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time. The starting lineup is QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, 2 FLEX, D/ST, and IDP FLEX, with six bench spots and two IR spots.

Sleeper breaks a weekly scoring tie using total season points. In Week 1, when no season-point history exists, the tied team with the better original draft position is chopped.

Miscellaneous 🧱 🧱 🧱

Rule Changes

This is not a democracy—this league is about finding your way through the chaos of Any Given Sunday (and Monday, and Thursday, and Saturdays late in the season, and possibly a Wednesday or Tuesday depending on when Christmas falls and how much Netflix pays Roger Goodell). The league is held back by zealots who are afraid of change. If you don’t want change, find another league.

The current rules in 2025 are the baseline rules for the league.

🧱 Moving forward, every year there will be one random rule that is changed to add variance for that year. It could be adding an IDP spot (individual defensive player) or even going to 6-point pass touchdowns. These rules will be identified before the season starts and be labeled as one-off rules.

Managers, you have been warned…

In rare cases, there may need to be an emergency rule change voting process during the season. In this case, the entire league must be in unanimous agreement for a rule to change mid-season. If this happens in the playoffs, only the teams affected by the change will be asked to vote.

Stray Teams

In the rare case that a Manager is unable to oversee their team, due to quitting, abandoning, removal by Commissioner, or any personal situation, the Commissioner will oversee the team for the remainder of the season. The Commissioner will set that team’s starting lineup for the remainder of the season without adding or dropping players unless necessary to set a proper starting lineup.

If by any chance there is a cash prize won by a team that did not finish the season, the funds will be put into the pot for the following season.

If a team is astray for three (3) straight weeks without a reason deemed valid by the Commissioner, they shall be suspended for the playoffs if they were to qualify. In this case, the 7^th seed will replace the stray team as the 6^th seed in the playoffs. The stray team will become the 7^th seed in terms of ranking for the following season.

Replacing Teams

If a team decides to quit the league, the Commissioner will do the due diligence in finding a replacement Manager before the season begins. The Commissioner keeps a rolling list of Managers who are interested in the league but not participating. If you have any suggestions for friends or family you know who would be a good addition, please share with the Commissioner so we can keep those individuals on the list to be called up from the minors.

If we receive enough interest to fill up a second league, that will be the 2^nd Division. In such a case that there is a 2^nd Division, the winner of that league will be promoted to the 1^st Division, and the Toilet Bowl winner of the 1^st Division will be demoted to the 2^nd Division. If there are even more leagues, the same rules apply for being promoted or demoted.

NFL Player’s Retirement

If an NFL player retires, the team is allowed to drop them from their roster. In the rare case that the retired player decides to un-retire, the original team who owned said players will have priority to add him to the roster. If the original team does not want to add said player, the player will be tagged with a “waiver” status and allowed to be claimed by any other franchise.

Constitution

Because of the inability to include all possible rules, scenarios, and examples in this Constitution, the Commissioner will assume the governing position for this league. If any issues or suggestions come up, the Commissioner will determine the correct course of action, gain the approval of the majority of the league, and consequently enforce whatever action is necessary to maintain fair, fun, and honest play.

Gentlemen, lady, thank you for being here.

Let’s get it on.

With love,

david not david aka 2nosabe aka Michael Pen*s SENIOR aka the first Champion ever

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